Caption Contest:
5.20.2007
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First solid food consumed: American Girl Doll.
Remember that Mike Tyson fight...when he bit off that dude's ear...kinda like that, but babies and white.
No wait...it's little baby Jesus gaining his powers by eating the souls of other unsuspecting babies through their ears...its in the the newly uncovered gospels of St. Erasmus that I recently found on my trip to the West Malapantinfolk Islands off the coast of Gœdalamørea which was the final resting place of St. Julian who was transcribed by the late St. Devota, who was the Virgin martyr of Corsica, France, who was slain on the rack. Patroness of Corsica and Monaco, her relics are in Monaco on the Riviera di Ponente.
Who was in turn transcribed by St. Heimrad, who was a Benedictine hermit and pilgrim. He was a monk at various abbeys before beginning his ceaseless pilgrimages to Rome and Jerusalem. He was considered a lunatic by many until he setteld as a hermit at Wolfhagen, Hesse Nassau. His tomb there drew many pilgrims. Who was in turn transcribed by St. Germanicus who was the Martyr of Smyrna. He was thrown to wild animals in a local amphitheater. When the beasts did not attack, Germanicus provoked them into attacking, gaining the admiration of the pagans of the arena. A letter describing his martyrdom and that of St. Polycarp is extant. Or at least that is how I translated it.
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